I need to shower, but fuck it , I'm in an apathy pit. Sadly, I can't even be properly apathetic. My "I don't give a fuck " outfit is color coordinated. Down to the slippers, I've selected Jeff"s brown plaid sleep pants, an off white tank top, and a tan zip-up sweater, Brown slippers. Goddamn, even my apathy is neurotic.
I'm not sure exactly how I came to be in the apathy pit.
It's not like I gave up on everything, I still get up, work out, sweep up the cat hair that our floor is composed of and go to my job where I serve booze to rude, intitled jackasses. I just started to trudge through everything.
It's a special blend of apathy+depression+control freak.
Here's the deal.
I need to finish a book I'm writing.
The video-blog thing that Jeff` and I are doing is an awesome idea and we should spend more time on it.
Instead of bar tending in a smoke-filled hole, I should find way to use my educated, creative geek brain to make money.
I should take a goddamned shower. fuck , I need to fix something in the goddamned shower.
***Also, stop cursing so much? no, fuck that noise.
SO. Why am I not doing this stuff? I need to pull my shrunken ass off this weird velvet couch and get to work.
(Part of Apathy Pit seems to be deciding that eating takes to much effort, so I now weigh under a hundred pounds..But I'm okay with that part.)
In other news, Its the day after The Holiday When We Buy Shit For People. and I suppose it went as well as can be expected. Christmas, I think, loses it's appeal as we age. It never had much appeal to me. I'm not going to launch into a David-Sedaris-style "blah, blah, christmas, Blah, my family" diatribe right now, I'll save that. Instead, I'm going to take that shower, fold some laundry, write stuff for that video blog, probably succumb to apathy, have a camel, and watch Star Trek, TNG in my underwear.
That's a start, Right? Apathy pit hasd become pretty deep.
Hey, By the way, I love you guys. really. Hope you all had a great holiday. seriously.