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September 3, 2011

Signs your boyfriend might be an Asshat.

1.He does things to make you feel financially obligated to him, without your asking. For instance, you haven't known each other for a year and he pays off your car. If you and this loser break up, you will definitely get a notice to appear in small claims court to repay this "loan".
2."The Dangling Carrot". This person throws money around to hook you, and make you believe that he is a generous person. Watch closely and you will see his attitude about money change over the months and years that you know him. The moment you're hooked either by moving in together or getting married(WTF) all of a sudden he's super concerned with expenses and you'll find yourself nickel-and-dimed at every turn.

3.He constantly says that ALL women are psycho.

4.He sleeps constantly. In fact, he uses it--his need for sleep--as a regular excuse to miss meals, events and even quit work.

5.He has no hobbies other than watching TV, or playing Madden while drunk.

6.He (or SHE) tries to take you on as some sort of "project" and attempt to "improve" you, as if you need to be "fixed" and he/she's doing you some sort of favor.Dude. I like my idiosincratic shit, FUCK OFF. This is my personal favorite. Ugh. I've only had one ex do this, but I think it put a huge dent in me.

7.Instead of being honest with you about how he feels, you find out that he (or SHE) ridicules you behind your back, even when you have expressed a preference for honesty.Dick.

8.He decides that something about your behavior is bothering him, but never tells you directly as a friend would, giving you the chance to have an open discussion. Instead, he drops subtle hints: When you don't pick up on the clues, he gets angry.

9.He dumped his ex in an incredibly fucking cruel way - in front of her friends, or at their wedding, for example. Then tells you about it in great detail, with pride in his voice, expecting you to be impressed.Yea, this happens. Bonus red flag points in he's never been dumped.

10.He doesn't like you talking about (or doesn't even let you talk about) any ex boyfriends/girlfriends especially past sexual shit.Yes,I've seen a dick/vag before. Grow up.

11.You find keyloggers on your computer or find him trying to get into your emails.

12.He makes it clear that he doesn't want you talking about him to anyone else, and/or, you NEVER meet his friends.Dump him.

13.He vassilates from day-to-day or week to week as to whether he wants to be in a relationship or not.

14.He talks outside on the phone w/ his family, never around you.

15.He doesn't like to go to social places like bars,the grocery store,farmers markets,or you know, outside, where there are a lot of people and possible attention on you from other men/women.

16.He tells you how to dress. This, clearly isn't a problem if he has good taste and you ASK him, but , you know what I mean.
The only time he says anything remotely "sincere" is when he's drunk...which is 5 nights a week.

17.Takes no responsibility if the relationship isn't going "swimmingly." He blames YOU. YOU'RE not working with the situation. YOU'RE not accepting him the way he is. YOU'RE passive-aggressive, etc.
18. If he "looks down on you". dump the motherfucker.

19.He says things like "I see in you the woman you can be (/become)", in combination with his love declarations: As if he wants to help you grow, or develop, or god knows what you make of it, but in fact it means: I see flaws in how you are now and I am going to do something about "fixing" you.

20.Even though he will denigrate them on the one hand, on the other hand, he holds his previous girlfriend(s) up as impossible standards for you to live up to.

There. that's a list. I'm done.

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