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April 9, 2011

why I get by

From time to time,we all have to give credence to the desire to self assess. Hell: maybe you don't,but I do. For introspections sake,here's what I see as my assets, in no particular order.
I'm the worlds big sister. I care about you,you big dummies. Sure. You fuck up,but I wrote the book on fucking up, so sit down,tell me about it, and I won't judge. I'll make you some chocolate milk and pack a bowl.
My empathy gets the best of me. I feel Everything. Good for you,bad for me.
I hide behind my humor. I break tension with humour. Mixed blessing,sure,but I'll make you laugh.
I'll never ever share a friends secrets. Ever. You can be the crappy ex from hell, but I won't tell people that you're into felching..really. your secret is safe. Well, that's a lie. I have one ex I'll humiliate for fun. But other than that.
If you're my lover, I'll entertain your fantasies. I'm good,giving and game. If you're lucky enough to get in my pants,which,unless you meet a long list of well thought out qualifications,you'll never be,I'll treat you like I'm the lucky one. Because I am.
I'll never tell you your idea is stupid. Unless it is.
I can bake a loaf of challah, wield a hacksaw,and write a line of code with the same finesse.
I'll never think I'm better than you. I'm not.
I assume its my fault. Not yours. Mixed blessing.
Those big, bad feelings I seem to hide? I hide em because they're Huge. Like floats at a Macys day parade.
I'm unbreakable,like Bruce willis. Burns, broken heart, broken dreams: I'll get back up on do it again.
I've accepted my faults. I'm too quiet, too loud, to walled off,too over comforting.I Forget my ass, my keys,your name,you name it. But I know I'm a mess. I admit it.
I make life long friends. They disappoint me. I forgive.
I can darn socks like an army vet.
I know you, all of you,made me in bits and patchwork pieces, exactly who I am. And you.


Anonymous said...

You are SO amazing!

Dez said...

Thank You, Random Internet human. So are you.