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April 9, 2011

If you'll be my bodyguard, then I'll be your long lost pal

I've been busy today.
Apply for jobs. Go to open interviews.Apply for unemployment. Write cover letters.Pace. Write more cover letters. Apply for grants(holy shit, there's a lot of grant money out there) Try to not smoke.
The Oregon unemployment site its having "technical issues", meaning I got halfway through the process 3 times, and every time it kicked me off,so I'll do it by phone on Monday.
I'm looking at going to school in the fall for Drug And alcohol counseling. This makes sense to me. Just community college. Nothing expensive,but something none the less.Something different.
I feel explosive and possible and slightly suffocated right now. People are moving,the light is changing, and I feel a little more right now than I have in a while.
Every one feels far away right now. I guess I'm focused on correcting myself, and maybe that's why things feel out of focus.
I've been alone too much today. I need to leave this house,the insulation from the outside world.I don't know to where, but somewhere.
I tell you what: There's a face I'd really like to see right now, The face that makes me come back into focus.I hope he's home soon.

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