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December 21, 2009

What I've learned from straight men..

1.Jeans aren't dirty until you can smell them or they have visible dirt.

2.Unless you change the color by 4 shades, get awful bangs, or cut off 8 inches,your new hairstyle will not be noticed.

3.multi-tasking is over-rated.

4.lip-product is pretty, but it is the bane of hot make-out sessions.

5.men may not notice when you wear make-up, but they really notice when you don't.

6.sex usually doesn't need candles, music, or shoes that match the under-things. unless a foot-fetish manifests.

7.Those oversized sun-glasses are freaking stupid.

8.pizza is perfectly suitable as a cold breakfast food.

9.It's never too early too early to drink on a day off.

10.Navel-lint is a part of life. deal.

11.Internet porn is a perfect cure for boredom, or, well, anything.

12. Playboy is not pornography.

13.body-wash is not manly., as it requires something commonly called a "bath puff". Soap. is. manly.

14.Your hot girlfriends do not go unnoticed. nor do the lingering, chest rubbing drunken hugs between the girlfriends.

15.If you ask a man to work on a behavior, or perform a new task, complements are in order, even if they fuck it up. Praise is crucial.

16.laundry sorting is not an inborn male skill. You're just lucky they washed it at all, really.

17.All tee-shirts purchased and well loved will be worn until they are nothing but shreds of see-through cotton attached by a neck-ring.

18.Man cannot multi-task. They can, however devote all mental energy to on single task. ALL OF IT.
When in this glassy-eyed state, nothing you say will be heard or remembered, and it is never the man's fault. so it is written.

19.Ex-girlfriend + new girlfriend = new girlfriend knowing WAY more than you want her too about a great many embarassing topics, and is to be avoided at all costs.

20.A kink, once revealed and mocked, will go home to the brain and tell all the other kinks to shut up, and never come out. A man with insulted sexual desires is a recipe for sexual dishonesty, and hurt feelings.

21.The couch, the dog, of pants are totally exeptable as towel substitutes.

more to come. Do share..

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